Satan Thwarting U.S. Intelligence, Graham Claims
Posted December 16, 2003 thepeoplesvoice.org

By Keetjie Ramo

In an exclusive interview, evangelist Billy Graham told Rolling Stone magazine that the U.S. government is battling satanic forces that have targeted our intelligence operation, thwarting the Bush administration at every turn. Citing Satan as the reason that the president had to fly into Iraq this Thanksgiving under top-secret conditions, Graham said that Attorney General John Ashcroft has known for some time that satanic forces are “messing with our intelligence,” but has been reluctant to make the allegations public. “It’s no secret in the top echelons of government,” Graham said.

Revealing hitherto undisclosed details of the president’s recent secret trip to Baghdad, Graham disclosed that he had accompanied Mr. Bush on the Thanksgiving Day trip. “It was for protection through prayer,” he claimed. “Missiles won’t bring down Satan; godly intervention is the only defense.”

Graham’s presence proved necessary. According to the evangelist, Satan used the airwaves to try to foil Bush’s visit with the troops. “Old Nick assumed a British accent and contacted Air Force One by radio to let us know he was wise to the president’s trip. We actually thought he was a British Airways pilot,” said Graham. “It was the British accent that threw us. We thought Satan would have a French accent.”

President Bush has told reporters that a British Airways airliner made radio contact with Air Force One on Thanksgiving Day after the pilot had recognized the president’s plane in flight. After the story hit the newswires, British Airways officials came forward to announce that no such contact had occurred.

“It was then that we realized what the voice on the radio was,” said Graham. “Either it was Satan himself, or Satan had again scrambled our intelligence so that in spite of sophisticated communication networks we weren’t able to identify the nationality of a plane flying that close to Air Force One. When I realized that the U.S. government might have recorded the voice of the devil himself, I broke out in goose bumps.”

Asked how Satan could have breached government security, Graham said that Nancy Reagan probably created the conditions that are allowing satanic influences to come and go at will in the White House. “It was when she began consulting that astrologer,” Graham explained. “Christian scholars have long known that dabbling with the occult is like putting out a welcome mat for demonic forces. Poor Mrs. Reagan wasn’t herself at the time. She was worried about Ronnie’s health and lost her perspective. Confidentially, I don’t think that Mrs. Bush’s reading all those Harry Potter books recently has helped the situation, either.”

Monica Lewinsky was probably a case of demonic possession, Graham hypothesized. But no one realized that demonic forces in intelligence were at work against the Bush administration until the president began having difficulty finding things. First it was things like his hair spray and the TV Guide. But before long, the problem had extended to the government’s intelligence network. It began with Osama Bin Laden. “The administration was confident that they’d have his sorry godless ass on a slab in no time,” said Graham, “but it didn’t happen. Then it was the weapons of mass destruction. Then Saddam Hussein. And before you know it, they couldn’t even find the source of the White House leak that outed Joe Wilson’s wife, Valerie Plame, as a CIA operative.”

Asked why Satan would launch an all-out attack on the Bush administration by sabotaging the intelligence network, Graham said he believes that the devil realized in late 2001 and early 2002 that he had to pull out all the stops. “The Evil One went into the White House during the 2001 Christmas season disguised as an attractive female news correspondent. He flashed his thong at the president, but Mr. Bush never even blinked,” said the evangelist. “Then and there, Satan realized that the president was no ordinary man, and that he would have to use stronger measures. As a result, George Bush may be the only man since biblical times who literally has wrestled with Satan and lived to tell about it.”

Interviewer: “You mean…?!” Graham: “Yes. The so-called pretzel incident in January, 2002. They had to make up that story. If the White House had explained the president’s bruises by announcing that Satan had physically attacked the Leader of the Free World, and had come away the worse for it, who would have believed it?”

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© Copyright 2003 All rights reserved by Keetjie Ramo